No Compromise.

The other night I was talking to my mom and of course as is the way with all girl friends the talked turned to boys. As some know I am rather notoriously boy crazy, just a whiff of cologne can do me in, and this fact has caused both my mom and grades some distress in the past. So she is rightfully torn, she of course wants me to date but is rather concerned about me being able to keep my head. Of all people she knows what can happen when you get to "in love" with a boy.

I understand and believe me I worry about it. I whenever there has been the possibility of a relationship I tend to freeze up and over think everything. I don't want to get carried away and forget for even a moment what it is I want in life.

 I used to want nothing more than to be one of those disgustingly cute couples you see on the street. Then as I got older and experienced a few half-relationships I realized that a relationship will never make me fully happy. I need to be happy without a man, if I can find my happiness without one then when I find one it wont matter what the end result is.

My dreams are what make me happy. Knowing that I am doing everything I can to get there and seeing my path forward is comforting. Being able to focus on my dreams and the way forward makes me unbelievably happy. Knowing that I have never sacrificed a anything for what I want and never will is what keeps me going. Somedays its the only thing that keeps me going.

So when my mom voiced her fears that I might loose sight of those dreams because of a guy I had an epiphany.

There is no way I would give my dreams up for anybody, I'm too selfish in that respect. My dreams will always come first and I could never love nor date anyone who expected otherwise.